


Sometimes

by Deserved_a_goodbye



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adira Needs a hug, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Shameless Smut, Swearing, Undercover Jedi, really kylo?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:41:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deserved_a_goodbye/pseuds/Deserved_a_goodbye
Summary: I slamed the door behind me. Kylo flinching at the noise, I silently study his features, eyes red and puffy, cheeks tear stained."Do you eVeN care about me Ren?" I huffed.his voiced cracked."Sometimes I just want to leave everything behind. Take you and leave," he drew me close, "𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮."
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Original Female Character(s)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, it means so much to me! Sorry for any mistakes or errors I'm not a very talented writer nor author. Thank you for being patient with slow updates!

𝐀𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐚

A bead of sweat rolls down my neck.

someone has been trying to force themselves into my mind this entire ceremony. I try to take a deep breath regaining focus. Forcing them completely out of my mind I feel them linger around outside, trying to find a a weak point in my mind.

almost _desperate_.

"Stand aids! bow down to the supreme leader!" General Hux commands us.

I stand and bow down onto my knee. 

"You may stand now aids." a modulated voice echos. we stand lifting our first order flags into the air. 

They first dismiss the storm troopers, leaving the ceremony arena still and sil;ent.

The event arena was empty, except for the twelve aids, including myself, and the supreme Leader.

"You, what's your name?" He gestured to me.

"AD-1358, sir" he nodded.

"everyone except AD-1358, are dismissed to their personal quarters." salutes were given, then the rest of the aids exited the arena. "Come here AD-1358."

I stood approach him calmly, then bowing at the waist, as I was taught.

"I know you have an _actual_ name AD-1358. Tell me."

"Sir, that is breaking protocol."

"I don't care about fucking protocall. What is your name." His voice boomed.

"Adira, master Ren." he chuckles in his mask causing it to twist into a creepy twisted sound.

"You may retire to your quarters, _Adira._ " I bow before his once again, before turning and exiting the arena.

I carried my first order flag through the corridors of the ship. Often glacing out of the windows that peered into the galaxy. Admiring the stars and surrounding planets. making it back to my private quarters, which I luckily didn't have to share since I was an aid, I set my flag down in the corner propped up against the wall. I started the shower making sure it's set to a hot setting. then I started to peel off the multiple layers of my uniform. Everything I needed was set out on the counter.clothing, undergarments, my favorite vanilla and juniper berry scented lotion. I sat on the ground criss cross and started to briefly meditate. I could feel the force shifting in odd ways ever since I arrived here. Today felt different. _stronger_.After completely getting undressed I hopped in the steamy shower. I started my wetting my hair, then lathering my shampoo into it. My actions ceased when I sensed someone else's presence. I looked up straight ahead of me, however instead of my usal black tiled shower wall, a very _naked_ supreme leader stared back at me.

"Uh sir-" He cuts me off.

"I didn't do this, it is the work of the force. You must be _force sensitive_. Please, call me Kylo." He continues to wash his hair. The blush evident on his face.

"um ok _Kylo_. I've never had this happen before." I shook my head, subtly recalling pieces of my training.

"Nor have I-" I turn around to wash the shampoo out of my hair, and hear him choke a bit and his breath hitch, "I've felt something between us though. Some sort of connection."

I turn back around with conditioner in my hand. lathering it into my hair.

"Are we able to touch each other?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I don't know let's find out." he leans as if to kiss me, suddenly he vanished leaving me with my usual tile wall.

I finish up my shower and get dressed, deep in thought. The force is doing mysterious things. My sleeping outfit consists of a pair of baggy silk sleep shorts and a tank top, and a sports bra. I stand in the most spacious part of my room. Sadly my room is small, leaving barley any room for me to train, Supreme leader aids aren't allowed to train in any sort of special path. That's why I must keep people out of my head. I start to meditate slowly starting to levitate.

_"Have you gotten anything yet Adira? You've been gone for over a year."_

_"I'm trying admiral, Master Ren is quite tough to infiltrate."_

_"How long do you think you'll be gone, it's been rough around here."_

_"I'm sorry, I've noticed something different about the force. It seemed to connect me to him. Through some sort of mind link. We can see each other?"_

_"What do you me-"_

**Knock! Knock!** I opened my eyes. Regaining focus and putting up my mental blockade. Then lowering my self to the ground. I grabbed my robe.

"You May enter." The metal door opens to revel the supreme leader. He enters and let's the door close behind him. I bow, bending at the waist. "How May I assist you sir?"

"I didn't come here for a favor," he states, followed by the hissing and removal of his mask, time seem to slow. I had never seen Commander Ren without his mask. He was startling beautiful with raven black hair that ended right before his shoulders. Soft brown eyes that swam with secrets. "I'm sensing something _different_ about you. I can't seem to be able to get into your mind... why?"

"I don't seem to be understanding Master Ren," he shakes his head, beautiful black hair cascading onto his shoulders. "I'm just an aid."

He shook his head, setting his helmet onto my dresser.

"I can sense that you are much, much _more_ than an aid," he balled his fists, "you kept me out of _your_ head the _entire_ ceremony. That is very, _very_ hard to do."

"I guess it's not as hard as you thought." I remained calm at the site of a easily agitated individual.

"Remove your hood." I pulled it off.

For a split second I thought I saw a shimmer of awe in his eyes. Although he quickly hardened his complexion. One of a supreme leader.

"Now I can see your expression," he continued with hard eye contact, "now, as I was saying, how were you keeping _me_ out of _your_ head?"

"I don't seem to know what your talking about Master Ren," he shook his head out of frustration. He backed me into a wall.He towered over me. I maintained concentration. He held his hand next to the side of my head. Trying to pry away the outer shield I had put up.

"Let me in _Adira,"_ I focused on maintain my breathing, "I know your hiding something."

"I'm not Master Ren." He balled his other fist.

"Yes. You. Are." He backed away, retrieving his helmet. Followed by the hiss of air pressurizing. I put my mask and hood back up.He exited my quarters without a word. I could hear his boots receding down the hall. I sat in the middle of my room.

_I must keep my mind strong, keen, and sharp. Master Ren is strong. He won't stop until he gets what he wants._

1120 words


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huffy puffy Kylo? yup.

𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧

"Master Ren if yo-" stopping dead in my tracks I turn to face Hux.

"I do mind General Hux, your thoughts are loud, so if _you_ don't mind, I'm retiring for the night." I whipped back around following the same corridors that I use everyday.Finally arriving I take off my helmet, inhaling the fresh air of my private quarters.

_There is something odd about Adira._

I shake my head trying to rid of the image of her body. The force connected us when we where at a very vulnerable point. I got changed, sitting at the edge of my bed. I pondered the meaning of the force bringing us together. There is something off about Adira, she can keep me out of her head. I crawl into my bed getting under my covers. I lay staring at the metal ceiling. I remembered the view and unsettling feeling of having Adira see me vulnerable. I felt a warm feeling in my face.

_What is this?_

Butterflies erupt in my stomach as I recall her wariness.

**_Master Ren?_ **

A voice echoed in my mind. I concentrate on closing my mind. I managed to get it closed, feeling someone linger. _Hiding._ Evening my breathing I resume what I was thinking about.

_Where did she come from?_

I pondered, not being able to form an explanation to how she came to be here on my command ship. I will the force to bring a book from my shelf as I recall something from the back of my mind.

The light flicks on as I start my research. Flipping through endless pages. After my entire book shelf was empty, and every available space on my tables were occupied, I had concluded nothing.

_Why? How? The force can do such mysterious things?_ _To bring two people together?_

In all honesty I had taken an admiration to AD-1358. She worked with dignity and efficiency, removing obstacles with out hesitation.

_That is the way this command ship needs to work._

I decided that I'm going to promote her to private aid. However I still couldn't get over how she kept me out of her head. It bothered me. I had been trained by a dark side master. Yet I still couldn't get into her mind. I punched the wall leaving a dent and a sting in my fist.

"Fuck!" I shook my head, grabbing fist fulls of my hair at the roots.

_**Don't- don't hurt yourself...** _

I toss and turned for hours. Finally sleep consumed me.

**_Ben? Ben Solo?_ **

I awake with a jolt. I get up and get dressed, putting my helmet on. Then commuting to the main bridge.

"Good morning supreme leader, we have the reports you requested." I nodded, as the small brunette women walked with

"Bring me AD-1358 and every single report and file we have on her." I continued to walk towards the bridge.

"Yes, sir." She splits with me at the bridge going to retrieve what I requested.

"Hux, what's is happening down here?" The ginger fool turns around to meet my eyes with a glare.

"Are you asking me? You're the one who didn't want anything to do with me last night! Find out your damn self!"

I pull him to my face with the force.

"Don't. Test. Me" his face was turning red, squirming against the force. I let him fall to the floor gasping for air.

"Supreme leader Ren, you requested my presence." Adria stopped about 5 feet behind me.

"Yes, I wanted to promote you to private aid, you've done excellent work." I turn to face her looking down at the short figure.

"Thank you leader Ren, I greatly appreciate you. What would you like my first task to be?"

"Simple watch, one day you could be next in line."

I felt the force move around us, like water and oil. Wind moving leaves.

"You know what AD-1358, I have a task for you. Please go to the library on private sector level four, and fine every single book on the force and the Jedi."

"Yes master Ren." She bowed at the waist and whisked down the hall.

"What more do you need from the force Ren? Master Snoke taught you everything! You learned from a former supreme leader and dark side master!"

"Snoke is dead! Do not address him as master! That is me now."

"Yes Sire, but I do feel the need to address something." I turned to him.

"What now General Hux?"

"A female aid hasn't been promoted to private aid in thousands of years, I think she's the first one. Why her?"

"Do not question my decisions General." I said in my usual monotone voice

"Yes, _Supreme_ leader Kylo Ren." Hux stood next to watching the galaxy outside.

I studied the planets and twinkling stars surround our ship. For mere seconds admiring their beauty. The galaxy was such a mysterious place, just as the force. I could almost feel the growing power from Adira. She was a powerful Individual.

But she was just an aid, a personal one, how could she be so powerful. Snoke would have known. He's gone now, and I'm here. I'm the Supreme leader, and no one will stop me.

"Sir, it's the resistance," he clears his throat, "they've seemed to have disappeared."

_892 words_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had to look up Han's death scene to write this and I almost cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, So the OG post dates were in january, but I have just now posted all these 3 in AO3 on March 25, 2020, and I will continue to update
> 
> Oh and bolded text is someone else in the mind speaking and the unbolded is the person thinking/speaking.

𝗔𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗮

I settled in the elevator taking me down to the restricted sectors I focused.

_Admiral,_

_Admiral,_

**_Yes commander Adira?_ **

_I have urgent news, you must evacuate, I've been in Kylo Ren's mind. He knows where your base is, he's planning to destroy it._

**_He's planing to what?_ **

_You must take action-_

I jolt back to reality as the elevator snaps into its stop. The doors opening. My mental block strong and stable. I show my personal aid pass to the guards at the door.

I will the force to lead me to sacred books. They call to me. Whispers.

**_Adira_ **

**_Adira_ **

**_Come here_ **

**_You must know_ **

I scrunch my eyebrows. Are these sacred? I look at the old leather books with different ancient languages on them.

I touched the cover of one of them. Thousands of voices flooded through my mind. I heard one. It sounded far. But I recognized it.

_Mom?_

**_Adira! You found us._ **

_Mom what is this?_

**_I am one with the force now Adira._ **

_Mom do you know anything ab-_

**_About what's been happening between you and Ren?_ **

_Yes._

**_It's a force connection. You two are what some will call 'soulmates' but the force brings you together. You two must accept what's happening, and love._ **

_How? I'm just an aid. Plus I'm with the resistance!_

**_Ben Solo will come around. He will realize what he is and what you are. Now go. Go do what's right, Palpatine._ **

My eyes snapped open. Me a Palpatine? My parents never told me anything about my blood line. If I told anyone I was one I would rule over Master Ren. I couldn't return back to the resistance. But I may be able to bring order to the galaxy.

My gut churned with the thought of ruling over Kylo. It might _push_ him away.

_Why am I afraid of that?_

I shook my thoughts away. I find a small cart. It was filled with a thick layer of dust. I took a small duster that sitting on the edge of a bookshelf. The dust was getting Into my nose. I sneezed.

**_Bless you._ **

A voice echoed in my mind.

_Hello?_

I couldn't sense anyone. Piling the books onto one another, I listened to each ones voice. These books were thousands of years old.I heard all of the voices. The force seems to be protecting them somehow.

Pushing the cart into the elevator I leaned on the wall. My body ached. I spent the entire night physically training. I managed to get into master Ren's head. I scanned through his thoughts. Only picking out plans and personal information.

His mom was admiral Leia, and his father- Han Solo. I felt a punch to my heart.

" _I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it."_

A tear rolls down my face.

_Kylo holds his lightsaber across his hands, offering it to his father. Han reaches out grabbing the base of the saber._

I tried to scream out but I couldn't.

_They both tightened their grip on Kylo's lightsaber. When suddenly Kylo activated it, driving the blade through his fathers chest._

My airways felt like they were closing up.

_Han fell off of the bridge._

I bounce back to reality as the elevator snaps back into place. My metal blockade was strong and reliable.The tears on my face were dry now.I find my way back to the bridge.

"Supreme leader Ren, I have the books you requested." I bowed before him.

"Good job AD-1358." He turned to me. "Do you know anything about the Jedi?"

I felt my heart drop.

"No master Ren. They were all purged and whipped out." I stated, knowing this was true.

"Yes, but anything else? Like their training? their ways?" He asked.

"I know they have sacred texts written in ancient extinct languages. That is it master Ren." I stated.

"Good that is all we need to know of the Jedi. They are gone. I killed the last one not to long ago." He states with dignity.

_Skywalker._

I feel a ping to my heart. _Luke._ He killed Luke skywalker and and his father. However his mother was still here. She was still around. She could help _Ben._ I stood silently by his side observing. I tried to linger by his head. Apart of me was still in his head. Faint enough to stay hidden in his mind. I searched for the day he killed his father. I found it. I felt pain. Sadness. Guilt. He didn't want to kill his father.

I called out again. 

_Ben._

_Ben Solo._

785 words


End file.
